The Boss of the Bedroom: How I Keep The Passion Alive In My Marriage

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 Readers Corner: Letter from Veronika

Most people see me as a very reserved and quiet person. I work as a secretary and volunteer at my children’s school and at our church. I don’t consider myself a domineering person, with one unique exception: my bedroom. Something happens to me when I become aroused that I can’t quite explain. I become demanding and bossy and I always want to be in control. Fortunately for me my husband is perfectly happy to let me take over in all aspects of our love making.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not married to a push over. My husband makes most of the decisions regarding our finances and many other aspects of our everyday lives. I’m happy to give him this control, I trust him to make the right choices and I enjoy not having to be bothered with them so I can focus my attention on raising our children. And after worrying about all the other parts of our lives, he’s happy to turn over control in our bedroom. He’s really turned on by my domineering ways; he’s happy that I feel comfortable enough in our marriage to tell him exactly what I want in the bedroom.

The longer we’ve been married the more adventurous our sex life has become. We began using toys and light bondage play the first year we were married after I received several naughty gifts at my bachelorette party. To my surprised he enjoyed having the toys used on him as much as I enjoyed having him use them on me. The power control began to shift; that’s how I became the dominating partner, and he became the submissive. We now have a large collection of BDSM toys. I love using our silk hog ties, blindfolds and velvet cushioned paddle to make my husband do just what I want in bed. Recently we made a new purchase on our favourite adult toy website and discovered the best toy yet! The Fetish Fantasy Collection has been an amazing addition to our bondage play.

The Fetish Fantasy Web has 24 lines that attach easily to our king sized mattress. Unlike more complicated bondage equipment there is no need to attach anything to our head or foot boards, so we can play as rough as we’d like without making any noise from the bed moving against the wall. The web came with ankle and wrist cuffs that Velcro onto whichever part of the web we’d like, so I can place my husband in unlimited positions. The bindings are comfortable for him, which wasn’t the case with some of the leather bondage toys we’ve tried in the past. The possibilities for bondage play are truly endless!

Some people are put off by the idea of BDSM play but my husband and I find it to be an intimate bonding experience. It affords me the opportunity to show my domineering side and he finds it satisfying to let me have my way with him. I’ve offered to switch roles and let him be the dominant partner but he’s so turned on by my take control attitude in the bedroom that he insists on always being the submissive. We find that it’s a fantastic way to explore other sides of ourselves that we don’t typically show to the outside world.

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